How can I be making resolutions in October?

I went to see Avenue Q last weekend with the Schefflers and Alissa. Since then I have been giving a lot of thought to the whole “I don’t know what I want to do with my life thoughts” that seem to linger a lot longer after college than you’d think that they would. I think everyone has the feeling that they fear that one day, they will look back on their life and be disappointed with the things that they have done.

For me, the fear is not that I will have made a difference. The fear is that I am making the right decisions. Sure, in debate and work I am quite confident once I have made a decision. This isn’t what I am referring to. There are days when I read government writing (read: jargon laden sentences that run on for four paragraphs), and think that I should work in communications. I believe that words have power and that how you speak does mean something. I am extremely critical when it comes to writing. Especially when it is bad. I have always been taught that good writing, translates into excellent life outcomes. If I am better than some, but not a complete expert – shouldn’t I take that skill and run with it?

Other days, I wish I could just be involved in academic debate all the time. I think that when it comes to being an administrator and tournament director, that I am among the best people in the country. Granted, I do not run large national circuit invitationals – but I think I keep things running smoothly; so long as 20 people all are not shouting at me at the same time. We shall see how good I actually am. The Raider Rumble – Sheboygan North’s version of the Appleton East Challenge – is expected to be the largest Wisconsin tournament this year, on top of the complications caused by the challenge itself. I have said many times that my ideal job is working as a college debate coach. The attraction is the extremely low stress environment that exists around parliamentary debate (6-10 tournaments over a year is a much easier sell than 10 tournaments in three months).

Still others I aspire to be a strong professional in the job I currently am in. Being a policy/budget analyst is what I went to school for and its the job I currently have. Thinking about ways to be better at the job (which most days doesn’t really feel like work); is something that I genuinely want to do.

And then sometimes the thoughts about really making public policy change gets me to thinking about running for political office.

I have said this a number of times; I am so overwhelmed by opportunity that I feel that I cannot make a choice or that I just muddle through without much perspective about where I am or where I am going. I suppose this is all natural for someone who isn’t even 25 and is just entering the workforce.

My friend Paul told me once that I think too much. Perhaps this is what is going on here. But I think that there are some easy things that I can do that might help provide me with additional clarity.

Write more. I love writing. Whether its introspection like this, or commentary on political events like the previous post – I think the more I exercise the act of thinking by putting thoughts into the keyboard the more, the better I will be at both.

Stay in contact with people. There are many people that I have lost touch with that I haven’t really meant to lose touch with – it’s just happened. This is a fact of life. We are all busy. But I should at least make an effort to transcend my busy schedule to reach out to people I want to be around me. To that end I have asked to join my schools Policy Report and I just joined the Association of Public Policy Analysis and Management.

Walk the dog more. I love Bartlet and I like taking him for nightly walks. I need to start exercising more. You’d think that I’d put two and two together and stop being lazy. It also gives me time to just think.

Lastly, I need to read more. I spend a lot of time reading important news stories related to City and State government (and of course much more time reading about the Presidential campaign that I care to disclose). But that reading isn’t the kind of reading that was championed by all of my professors. I need to engage and grapple with larger and more sophisticated texts on a more frequent basis.

I feel odd making new year’s resolution type statements when it’s only October. But I feel like the message in sooo many Obama emails: why wait? I have thought about why I need to do these things, why should I wait until later to start doing them, when I can start now?